TURKEY SOUP FOR THE TEACHER’S SOUL
(courtesy of the World Wide Web)
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She
gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and
asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Better to be safe than……………….Punch a 5th grader
Strike while the …………………….Bug is close
It’s always darkest before…………… Daylight Savings Time
Never underestimate the power of……….Termites
You can lead a horse to water but………how?
Don’t bite the hand that…………….. looks dirty
No news is…………………………..impossible
A miss is as good as a………………..Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog new…………math
If you lie down with dogs, you’ll………stink in the morning
Love all, trust………………………me
The pen is mightier than the…………..pigs
An idle mind is………………………The best way to relax
Where there’s smoke there’s……………pollution
Happy the bride who…………………..gets all the presents
A penny saved is……………………..not much
Two’s company, three’s………………..the Musketeers
Don’t put off till tomorrow what……….you put on to go
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and…….you
have to blow your nose
None are so blind as………………….Helen Keller
Children should be seen and not………..spanked or grounded
If at first you don’t succeed………….get new batteries
You get out of something what you………see pictured on
When the blind leadeth the blind……….get out of the way
Better late than……………………..pregnant
History Test Answers by Sixth Graders
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and
threw the java.
7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”
8. Joan of Arch was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.
9. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”
10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Fransis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
14. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
5th and 6th grade responses to science questions on tests:
– There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be
– Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don’t,
why you should.
– Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there.
– The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets
blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
– Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be
called a drop, it does.
– Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like
– Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
– A monsoon is a French gentleman.
– The word “trousers” is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the
top and plural at the bottom.
– To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
– When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
– For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is
– Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
– One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
Elementary school students’ actual quotes on music:
* The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was
* Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.
* All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know
exactly what they sounded like because there are no known
* Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze
Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica,
Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue.
* Music sung by two people at the same time is called a
duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
* A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.
* Diatonic is a low calorie Schweppes.
* Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the
Hatfields and the McCoys.
* A harp is a nude piano.
* The correct way to find the key to a piece of music is to
use a pitchfork.
* I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.
* Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical
compositions and had a large number of children. In between
he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.
IN IGNORANCE, THERE IS NO SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE
This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked
questions about the Old and New Testaments. They have not been
retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called
Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble
with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died
before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the
battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with
the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
before they do one to you. He also explained, “a man doth not live
by sweat alone.”
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The
epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which
is another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
OF COURSE IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE…..
Associated Press Release
City of Los Angeles School administration officials announced a plan yesterday to make education more practical for their students. Spokesmen said that the new approach to education would start with the subject of math. He sited the following example…
City of Los Angeles High School Mathematics Proficiency Examination
NAME: __________________GANG: __________________
1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10
shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting,how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
2. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each
trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his
$800 per day crack habit?
3. Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit.
How many ounces of cut will he need?
4. Willis gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a
4×4. If he has stolen 2 BMW’s and 3 4×4’s, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $800?
5. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the
hit. If his common-law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for killing the witch that spent his money?
6. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the
gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up?
7. If the average spray can covers 22 feet and the average letter is 8
square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
AND THEN THEY GROW UP……SORT OF
Some more notes for the teacher (all are true though names have been changed, spellings have been printed as they were written).
Johnny has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
Barry was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Siobhan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Please excuse Seamus Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse Paddy from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words were crossed out in the ( )’s]
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
I kept Liam home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.
Please excuse Seamus for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Deirdre was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Joan, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal
1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press
Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of
calls asking where the “Any” key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover
on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the
mouse was packaged in.
3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of
her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter
arrived from the customer along with photocopies of
4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his
troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door.
The customer asked the tech to hold on. The tech
heard the customer put the phone down, get up and
room, and close the door to his room.
5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t
get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
front of the monitor screen and hitting the “send”
6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that
his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by
filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the
keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them individually.
7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer
who was enraged because his computer had told him he
was “bad and an invalid.” The tech explained that the
computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses
shouldn’t be taken personally.
8. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles
printing documents. He told the technician that the
computer had said it “couldn’t find printer.” The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer but that his computer still couldn’t
“see” the printer.”
9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech
Support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on.
After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the
power button. Her response, “I pushed and pushed on
this foot pedal and nothing happens.” The foot pedal
turned out to be the mouse.
10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to
say her brand-new computer wouldn’t work. She said
she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked, “What power switch?”
11. Another IBM customer had troubles installing
software and rang for support. “I put in the first
disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it
said to put in the third disk, I couldn’t even fit it
in.” The user hadn’t realized that “Insert Disk 2”
meant to remove Disk 1 first.
12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed
the instructions for installing software. The
instructions said to remove the disk from its cover
and insert into the drive. The user had physically
removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there
13. True story from a Novell NetWire Sysop:
Caller: “Hello, is this Tech Support?”
Tech: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?”
Caller: “The cup holder on my PC is broken, and I’m
within my warranty period. How do I go about getting
Tech: “I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?”
Caller: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my
Tech: “Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped,
it’s because I am. Did you receive this as part of a
promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup
holder? Does it have any trademark on it?”
Caller: It came with my computer. I don’t know
anything about a promotional. It just has ‘4X’ on
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller
because he couldn’t stand it. He was laughing too
hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off
14. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was
running it under “Windows.” The woman responded, “No,
my desk is next to the door. But that’s a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window, and his printer is working fine.”
15. Tech Support: “O.K. Bob, let’s press the control
and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a
task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”
Tech: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Tech: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams
given by theCalifornia Department of Transportation’s driving
school (Saturday Traffic School for moving violation
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way
stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker
saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing
up your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no
longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light
and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Questions Asked by Tourists of Park Employees
Denali National Park, Alaska
* What time do you feed the bears?
* Can you show me where the Yeti lives?
* How often do you mow the tundra?
* How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Price William Sound, Alaska
* While sea kayaking… What elevation are we at?
Yosemite National Park
* Where are the cages for the animals?
* What time do you turn on the falls?
* Can I get my picture taken with the carving of
* How long is the two hour Valley Floor Tour?
Grand Canyon National Park
* Do you light it up at night?
* I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom;
where is it?
* Is the mule train air conditioned?
* Are there dining cars on the mule trail?
* What time does old faithful go off? (Remember, this is
* So where are the faces of the presidents? (see above)
* Was this man-made? How did they make it?
* What year did they build this?
* Exactly why did you guys put it here?
Glacier National Park
* What does the park service do with all the animals in
Yellowstone National Park
* Does old faithful erupt at night?
* How do you turn it on?
* When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
* Where do the animals sleep at night?
* We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but
where are the exits?
* Do we have to leave at night before the gates are closed?
* When do the deer turn into elk?
* Can we eat this? (holding a handful of moose
droppings that look like milk duds)
Grand Teton National Park
* What is the white stuff up there? (pointing at snowfields)
Mesa Verde National Park
* Did people build this, or did Indians?
* Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
* Why did they build ruins?
* Why did they buikd the ruins so close to the road?
* What did they worskip in the kivas — their own made
* Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Carlsbad National Caverns
* How much of this cave is underground?
* What’s in the unexplored part of the cave?
* Does it ever rain in here?
* How many ping pong balls would it take to fill this up?
* So what is this, just a hole in the ground?
* What Ocean is that?
* Are there waves on Lake Michigan?
* But its always to cold to swim in, right? (debateable)
* Wouldn’t it be neat if they built a pipeline so we
could use this water to irrigate our crops in
* Where can I buy a ticket for the barrel ride?
* How much further does this trail go (about 1200 miles)
Everglades National Park
* Are the alligators real?
* Are the baby alligators for sale?
* Where are all the rides?
* What time does the two o’clock bus leave?
* Do you have any photgraphs of the castle under
construction? (the castle dates back to parts of the
10th century AD).
* Can we see the original blueprints of the castle?
* Wouldn’t it have been better if they built the castle
nearer the stores?
NOT THAT IT’S ANY BETTER IN OTHER COUNTRIES
Notes to the schoolmaster (and they are for real though names have been changed).
Please excuse Mary Murphy for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
My son, Sean, is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E.
today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Maighread for being absent. She was sick and I had her
Dear School: Please ekscuse Johnny being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
30,31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse the Murphy girls today. They is administrating.
Excuse Neil from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of Tree
and misplaced his hip.
A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day.
Here’s his dynamite speech : Leddies and Gentulmens,
Contemporaries, Children, “This is my first maiden speech. If
small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly
speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the
following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son.
Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.
We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our
birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the
Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or
looking at your behind. Be like great like X’ raj Ranjan of
Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt.
You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety
seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you here in the school, you can go to
college and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can
become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.
The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your
heads and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper “Wanted for
refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors” so
and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise.
If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.
I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and
thank God I am finished. Joy Hind!”
BUT EDUCATION IS THE FOUNDATION OF CITIZENSHIP
Make the Pie Higher
by George W. Bush
(actual statements, rearranged in free verse form by a journalist)
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
NEVERTHELESS, SOME DO GO ON TO HIGHER EDUCATION
The following is reputedly an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was
so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues,
and is now making its way around the Internet.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle’s Law, gas cools off when it expands and heats up when
it is compressed, or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into
Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Some of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one
of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand as souls are added.
This allows two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in
Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure
will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan
during my Freshman year that, “… it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you” and take into account the fact
that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations
with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.”
The student received the only “A” given.
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, TEACHING GETS IN YOUR BLOOD
“You A True Elementary School Teacher If…”
1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered
their scarves and mittens as they leave your
2. Do you move your dinner partner’s glass
away from the edge of the table?
3. Do you ask if anyone needs to go to the
bathroom as you enter a theater with a group
4. Do you hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes?
5. Do you refer to happy hour as “snack time?”
6. Do you declare “no cuts” when a shopper
squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line?
7. Do you say “I like the way you did that” to the
mechanic who repairs your car nice?
8. Do you ask “Are you sure you did your best?”
to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to
9. Do you sing the “Alphabet Song” to yourself
as you look up a number in the phone book?
10. Do you say everything twice? I mean, do
you repeat everything?
11. Do you fold your spouse’s fingers over the
coins as you hand him/her the money at a
12. Do you ask a quiet person at a party if he
has something to share with the group?
* If you answered yes to 4 or more, it’s in your
soul–you are hooked on teaching. And if you’re
not a teacher, you missed your calling.
* If you answered yes to 8 or more, well, maybe
it’s *too much* in your soul–you should probably
begin thinking about retirement.
* If you answered yes to all 12, forget it — you’ll
*always* be a teacher, retired or not!